Johnny Indian-->Johnny Inian-->Inian-->Ian.

 

1. shhh, johnny told me he had sex with a silverback gorilla in thailand.

2. johnny once put paid 10 baht for a reacharound from a shemale named joey in thailand.

3. johnny told me he tried to ride his motorbike through a live deer just to prove that he was tougher than it.  he lived.  so i guess he is pretty tough. 

4. in brazil johnny decided to go down on two brazilian males just to prove that he is tough.  he lived.  and came home with some extra pocket change.  so i guess he is pretty tough.

5. one time johnny came out of the bathroom after showering.  he had 13 nipples and 4 testicles.  thanks for not wearing a towel, johnny.  that's tuff.  not.

6. johnny was in band in highschool-true story.  his band teacher gave him an A for being real good at playing the meat flute-true story.  one night i walked into the living room and johnny was trying to play his own meat flute-true story.  he was able to-just joking.  see, i only tell the truth on this site.  

7. johnny is desperately in love with Chyna.  he says his next travelling adventure will be to see the great walls of Chyna.  what the f*ck does that mean?  what a messed up dude.

8. one time we were driving on the street and johnny yelled at some black guys and they chased us all the way back to our home in east van.  but for once johnny did something useful.  he played the meat flute for them and they were happy.  i went to the bathroom and threw up.  thanks for taking one for the team, johnny.

9. one time we were at lou's pub and johnny starting panting and hyperventiling and saying there were these really hot girls behind us.  so we sat with them and it turns out that the three of them share one brain.  and the brain is mentally retarded.  oh, and they don't share any good looks- they traded those away for what they thought was a brain.  thats not tuff, johnny.  not tuff at all.

10. i caught johnny sneaking into his room with a bottle of jergens lotion and a newspaper.  i wondered what could have been in the newspaper.  the next day i looked at the front cover and saw that it had pictures of the pickton trial.  that's nasty, johnny.  just plain nasty. 

11.  yesterday johnny didn't like the taste of his beer and without thinking, exclaimed, "this shit tastes like a silverback gorilla's cock. i hate that taste!".  you gotta start thinking before you speak, johnny. 

12.  much to my displeasure, johnny likes to leave his bedroom door open when he's doing his sex thing.  thanks for that, johnny...i really like walking past your room and seeing two males intertwined together on a bed.  jackass.